Everything I Need To Know I Learned From My Kindergartener (10/09)
So fall is here, and as always it has brought many beginnings. School has started, TV series have begun anew, and fall associates are getting settled. This year I experienced Back-to-School mania for the first time since I graduated myself. Preparing my daughter for kindergarten made me realize how much she has taught me about life, and how I use those lessons in work each day. Whether the person you are interacting with is five or fifty, is a kindergartner or partner, a certain degree of emotional intelligence and common sense can ensure a positive outcome.
Keira’s Life Lessons:
- Whining will get you know nowhere. (AKA Please and Thank You never go out of style.) Even if a tantrum gets you the end you want, the means will not be forgotten. If you want something, asking politely will go a long way for the current occasion, and the next one. Even if you need to “argue” for your cause, don’t give up politeness. Manners are often overlooked and undervalued, but when used well, remembered. The lesson I learned: Please, don’t whine.
- Negotiation is an art, and listening is the paint. We all negotiate in our jobs. I negotiate with my LRC teammates over projects, reference librarians negotiate reasonable expectations/deadlines for requests, and managers negotiate with everyone! Negotiations cannot be fruitful if all sides are not listening. So do not simply expect for your patron to be listening to your review of available databases for their request, make sure you are listening to their true needs. The lesson I learned: Don’t spend the time while the other person is talking thinking about what your response will be, spend it listening.
- To be pleasant and productive, eat regularly and get plenty of sleep. Work/life balance is important for us all, but don’t sacrifice sleep or meals for either. A good night’s rest and healthy food helps give us the energy and focus to enjoy work and play. Anyone who has been in a noon meeting with me when I have not eaten first, knows first hand how my mood and work are affected by being hungry. The lesson I learned: Carrying a small snack at all times is not just for kids.
- Rewards are sweeter when they are truly earned. It is nice to be rewarded for a job well done, but not for every job. If our praise is consistently too high it will be seen as disingenuous and begin to be ignored. Why strive to improve if every task is already “great”? The lesson I learned: Don’t say “great job!” every time, when a simple thank you will do; but remember to recognize a great job when it truly was great.
- Don't say anything you don't want repeated. Many of us have learned this the hard way, and in the age of Web 2.0 it becomes even more important. Think carefully about what you say, and don’t write anything you wouldn’t say in person. The lesson I learned: 5-year-olds are not the only ones to repeat things you have asked them not too.
- Wearing pretty clothes always makes you feel good. How you feel is reflected in your work and work product. Need a little pick-me-up at the beginning of the day? Then try a brightly colored tie or scarf, or that one outfit that always makes you feel good. For Keira this is her Tinker Bell dress, but I don’t quite recommend wearing one of those to the office. The lesson I learned: 5 extra minutes on make up and a cute pair of shoes can make a difference for the entire day.
- Ask for help versus take the risk. The age-old question… Try to tie my own shoe, or ask for help right away? This is a question asked often by those needing help, and those who might be asked for it. We will never grow and learn if we are not allowed (and encouraged) to branch out on our own. I struggle to not jump in and tie the shoe when I see her frustration, but her smile at accomplishing things on her own has helped me to learn to be patient. I credit my first law firm library manager with helping me to have the confidence to take the risk. Who will credit you? The lesson I learned: Be willing to take (or allow) the risk, but ask for help if it becomes necessary.
I was surprised that preparing for kindergarten would show me so much about myself and my career. Here’s hoping you approach new beginnings with enthusiasm and a willingness to learn life’s lessons. It can be an eye-opening experience, and well worth the time and effort — even if the lessons are simply reminders of ones we all learned so long ago.
