Are you a Survivor? Or, When Eating an Elephant, Take One Bite at a Time. (2/09)
By Rhonda Keaton
Survival. Current events have stirred that word in my consciousness and caused me to consider the concept from differing viewpoints. But I wonder if that is really the right word. Just a minute, I’ll check…..
According to Merriam-Webster, synonyms include: ride out, weather, outlast, outlive; pull through; abide, continue, endure, hang on, last, lead, persist; be, breathe, exist, live, subsist; flourish, prosper and thrive. Yes, either I am describing a reality television show or the efforts most people are putting forth in their day-to-day lives.
In the past few months I’ve watched the news and consciously fought back the feeling of being overwhelmed. Just flipping through the channels at dinner time could convince a person that the economic challenges we face are too great, the problems are unsolvable and the obstacles are insurmountable. Maybe I am simply too optimistic or stubborn but I refuse to give in.
Then, as if national economic turmoil wasn’t enough to unsettle me, a United Airlines flight made an emergency landing in the Hudson River. I am a very frequent flyer and have been content to travel the world with little reservation until I saw passengers, make that survivors, standing on the wings of that plane surrounded by icy water. That picture gave me pause and I mentally reconsidered my level of preparedness for the inevitability of adversity. Am I a survivor?
Part of the human condition is to face struggle and loss and live to tell the tale. Presently, nearly every person within my acquaintance is dealing with some sort of life-changing problem whether it stems from recent economic developments, family obligations, illness, war, unemployment or unexpected weather. I, too, have had my fair share of adversity in life and survived thus far. Still, I am always wondering what I could do to prepare for the “next round” that is sure to come my way. How can I be of help to those I care for who find themselves in difficult circumstances? Chances are that either you or someone close to you is struggling under an impossible burden and questioning if they possess the survival skill necessary to get through to the other side.
As you read this you may wonder why I would choose such a “downer” topic for a column. A couple of reasons come to mind. First, we all live our lives with one foot in our professional life and the other in our personal one. As much as we attempt to contain it, waves from one area of life lap at the shore of the other. Second, the downturn in the economy is affecting both our private and professional lives. Time will pass and things will change but in the meantime how can we thrive professionally and personally until it does?
What does it take to survive? What kind of survivor are you?
I set out to find some answers and after some research purchased The Survivor’s Club—The Secrets and Science that Could Save Your Life by Ben Sherwood. As I thumbed the pages, the funniest little bon mot popped off the page: When eating an elephant, take one bite at a time. Now, those are words to needlepoint, don’t you think? General Creighton Abrams is credited with this quote. He was a WWII commander under George Patton and the man the Abrams Tank is named after. This guy obviously knew a thing or two about taking on insurmountable obstacles! Sherwood illuminates that great quote by adding: “Survival is one big ornery animal, … and if you try to devour a fifteen-thousand-pound pachyderm all at once two things can happen: you’ll give up or get bad indigestion. The key to survival is to slow down. Take one small bite. Chew. Swallow. Then take another.”
After reading this I figuratively grabbed a knife and fork and dug in to Ben Sherwood’s book.
In The Survivors Club, Rhodes scholar Ben Sherwood, former executive producer of Good Morning America and senior broadcast producer of NBC Nightly News, explores the true stories of regular people who have been profoundly tested by life to reveal the hidden side of survival. He takes on survival training at the military’s elite survival school and the government’s crash evacuation course. He interviews cutting-edge scientists, trauma specialists, researchers and survival instructors. He examines the reasons why certain people make it through difficult trials and others don’t, and why some bounce back from adversity while others collapse and surrender. According to Sherwood when it comes to survival, while there is much you cannot control, there is a surprising amount you can. If survivorship is a learned skill then it stands to reason that all of us possess characteristics that can see us through tumultuous times.
Sherwood defines a survivor as "anyone who faces and overcomes adversity, hardship, illness, or physical or emotional trauma. Survivors keep going despite opposition and setbacks. They may want to quit but they still persevere. Some even manage to excel under the worst circumstances. They make the most of misfortune. They grow in ways they never could have imagined. They don't just exist or subsist. They live fully. In the jargon of the field, they thrive. Whether they survive six months or sixty years, they make the most of their time. Survivor comes from the French survivre, which means "to live beyond or longer than." It originates from the Latin supervivere. Super means "over, beyond" and vivere means "to live." Survivors quite literally are super livers.” I don’t know about you, but I definitely want to be part of this group.
The Survivor’s Club relates story after story of adversity of every type but focuses on the commonality of the experience. Ultimately, everyone joins The Survivors Club. But, is there a way to quantify what it takes to survive? Possibly. Sherwood examines several scenarios:
1. Are some people more genetically hardwired for survival than others? Maybe. Dr. Richie Poulton, a New Zealand researcher has been studying the existence of the "resilience gene" and has discovered that one specific gene significantly influences our ability to manage life stress. Statistically only 32% of us are gifted with the "resilience gene." The majority of us have some combination of the gene to protect us but typically not the most protection. Cutting-edge research continues so stay tuned.
2. Theory of 10-80-10 posits that 10 percent of us handle crisis in a calm manner. The middle 80 percent – most of us – will freeze and become confused. We’ll hyperventilate. We’ll feel sick. This is not necessarily a fatal condition as long as we can shake it before it’s too late. As for the last 10 percent, according to Sherwood, “you definitely want to avoid them in an emergency”. They do everything wrong, and they can’t seem to get a grip. Those are the people likely to die when things go horribly wrong.”
3. Worried about your next airline flight? Seats within five rows of an exit, preferably behind the wing are optimal when you keep in mind that you'll have 90 seconds to evacuate before a crashed plane becomes inescapable. Flying is extraordinarily safe—statistically speaking, you could fly every day for the next 164,000 years before you would perish in a crash. But, if a crash were to occur, 80% of crashes happen in the first three or last eight minutes of flight. According to Sherwood, “in the first three minutes or the last eight you should be ready to run for your life without waiting for orders or instructions.” You can bet I won’t be napping or cranking up Beyonce on my IPod® while mentally performing fierce back-up to “Put A Ring On It” on any flights past today!
4. Live in a freezing climate? Note that when you break through ice on a frozen lake, you have 60 seconds to thwart hyperventilation, 10 minutes of muscles sufficiently limber to paddle you to safety and 60 minutes before you lose consciousness.
5. What is worse: being stabbed, shot, or smashed into a brick wall? In terms of survivability, if you have to choose among the three, go for the knife first, then the gun, then the brick wall. Stab wounds and gunshots can be stitched back together but the brick wall causes massive internal injury. Just FYI.
6. Where is the best place to have a heart attack if you simply must? A Las Vegas casino. Because of tight security everyone in a casino is constantly monitored. Should you collapse; security guards will be immediately on hand with a defibrillator.
The above reminds us that preparation and planning can be critical when facing life-threatening scenarios.
Personal characteristics are equally critical to survival. Sherwood outlines twelve personal psychological strengths that effective survivors possess:
1. Adaptability
2. Resilience
3. Faith
4. Hope
5. Purpose
6. Tenacity
7. Love
8. Empathy
9. Intelligence
10. Ingenuity
11. Flow
12. Instinct
The good news is that you don’t have to be in possession of all of them to survive. More than any other strength, adaptability determines who gets into The Survivors Club. Want to know what strengths you possess? Check out “The Survivor Profiler” and click on the Survivor Profiler section. The Profiler is a fifteen minute questionnaire which uncovers your top survival skills. By utilizing psychometrics, the science of psychological measurement, the Profiler can identify your main psychological strengths to reveal the skills you have to take on life’s toughest challenges. The test was co-operatively developed by the author and Dr. Courtney McCashland, the founder and CEO of TalentMine®. Dr. McCashland’s experiences reveal that successful people in the arenas of life and work succeed because they have an acute awareness of their strengths and leverage time and energy around those talents. Knowing your Survivor IQ can go a long way in determining how to marshal your strengths to meet a crisis.
What kind of survivor are you? There are five main Survivor types with corresponding traits: The Fighter, The Believer, The Connector, The Thinker and The Realist. Each has a different motivator and strength. All have what it takes to break down challenges into achievable tasks. My Survivor IQ? I am The Connector. According to my Type, that basically means I will crawl over hot coals and broken glass for the benefit of those I love. I have great empathy and compassion that motivate me to help those struck by misfortune. I trust my instincts. Connectors are good at reading strangers and situations. They are usually the first to sense the presence of danger, rely on intuition to size up the situation and act.
Today I am not facing a life-threatening event other than meeting the deadline for this article. Like you, I am facing the ordinary cares and burdens of a demanding professional and personal life. I want to live fully and thrive by benefiting from the lessons of those who have endured far worse. The bottom line: Don’t’ panic—it’s the archenemy of survival. Forget worrying about minutiae and take reasonable precautions to prevent disaster in an emergency. Don’t be overly optimistic, but do keep the faith and learn to assess situations with common sense. Face your fears, develop acceptance of the reality before you, exercise mental flexibility, and stay physically fit. Remember that you’re stronger than you realize.
So now if you’ll excuse me, my fellow survivors and I are planning a little dinner party. On the menu? Oh, I thought I’d serve a piece of that elephant …..
