BRAGGING is No Longer Optional (06/09)
By Julie Webster-Matthews
Brag! What a nasty little word! From childhood, we have all known and grown to hate braggarts. Merriam-Webster® Dictionary defines a braggart as a loud arrogant boaster. But most of us would define one as that person who monopolizes conversations by making every comment revert back to them; or the girl/guy who drones on and on about how wonderful they are to the point of making your eyes roll back into your head. Because of the way they make us feel, most of us avoid mimicking their behavior. However, when you stop and think about it, bragging is simply a form of self-promotion. So, what’s so wrong with bragging?
A few years ago, I caught a segment of ABC’s 20/20 news program featuring author and communication expert, Peggy Klaus, talking about the “art” of bragging. Who knew there was any redeeming quality to bragging? So, I watched and learned a few things. During the program, Ms. Klaus coached a couple of participants and I was amazed at the differences between before and after versions of her subjects talking about themselves. I discovered there is a palatable technique when sharing with others how incredibly awesome you are. Klaus’s book, entitled, Brag! The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn without Blowing It, (hereafter, Brag!) offers wisdom for mastering the art of bragging. She covers a range of bragging factors, from our fear of bragging to helpful advice and tips for becoming truly successful at it.
Her advice is insightful; and quite timely for today’s global economic changes. According to the U.S. Department of Labor’s Bureau of Labor Statistics*, the legal sector lost 4,200 jobs in February, and 1,300 in January of this year. The number of cutbacks and layoffs in U.S. law firms is historical. I quote this statistic not to invoke fear, but to impress upon you the importance of being not only capable, but prepared to present yourself in your best possible light at all times. Today’s job market is highly competitive; and clearly, in our current “here today/gone tomorrow” employment environment, the ability to brag (self-promote) is no longer an optional skill.
Myths about Bragging
Other than the fear of being labeled an obnoxious braggart, what other reasons cause us to suppress our bragging voices? In Brag!, Klaus talks about seven bragging myths, beliefs or assumptions we hold related to bragging that keep us mute when it comes to “tooting our own horns.” Three of those myths hit close to home with me, and since reading the book, I have endeavored to be more in tune with how.
- Myth #1: A job well done speaks for itself.
How many of us have found out the hard way that this is simply not the case? “The days of job security in exchange for loyalty and hard work are long gone.”(Brag!, p. 1). It is important to make sure people in your company, firm or school know who you are and what you have accomplished. It is important that not only your boss knows who you are and what you are doing, but your boss’s boss, as well.
- Myth #2: I don’t have to brag. People will do it for me.
Don’t count on it! It’s great if someone else compliments your performance or work product, but waiting on that to happen is a crapshoot, at best. There is no substitute for you promoting yourself.
- Myth #3: Good girls don’t brag.
I don’t know about you, but growing up, I can remember being told that certain behavior wasn’t “ladylike,” like bragging. It was considered unbecoming or aggressive to talk about oneself. I can still hear my grandmother’s words, “Stop showing off.” The lack of self-promotion can have far-reaching consequences for women in the workplace. Higher salaries, faster promotions, richer benefits, better assignments are examples of what professional women can lose out on by not promoting themselves effectively. Although, men benefit from coaching regarding self-promotion, it seems they are much better at bragging that their female counterparts. Their innate, competitive DNA seems to give them an edge in wanting to “one up” each other.
Whatever brag myth you identify with, get over it! We would all do ourselves a great service by shedding some of those distasteful notions we harbor about bragging. Once we have, learning how to brag is the next step. In the Brag! book, bragging is elevated to a virtue. There is an artful way of telling others about you that seems natural and comfortable. When talking about yourself, inject you own style and personality. Humor, stories and anecdotes are great bragging tools. Telling a story that highlights your successes or strong traits draws the listener in, rather than boring them with facts and figures. Having a unique style also makes you memorable. Think about the hobbies, interests or passions that shape you. They can all be woven into your accomplishments and strengths in a way that captures your audience.
In the workplace, there are a few places where we naturally “brag it up”:
- Resume
- Interview
- Performance appraisal
While there is definitely a need to shine the spotlight on performance and accomplishments in these venues, there are many additional opportunities for you to shine, as well. The key is to be prepared. When you meet the CEO or Managing Partner in the elevator, how will you introduce yourself? Do you have a few small snippets of information about yourself that you share on the fly? (Not things that happened at the beginning of your career.) Updating your repertoire with new elements to brag about will keep your dialogue fresh and interesting.
Nowadays, since so much of our contact is no longer face-to-face, Klaus recommends learning how to “technobrag.” Technobragging is learning how to promote yourself via e-mail, voicemail or on the telephone. The importance of learning this technique is that e-mail, voicemail, etc., offer no visual cues. Have you ever received an e-mail in which you thought the sender was upset to find out later that was hardly the case? In the absence of the human interaction, the real you may get lost. Also, a voicemail may be the first introduction that someone has to you. So, it is important to present yourself in the best possible light when leaving a short message.
As funds become scarce for travel and attending conferences, intensifying your bragging may help keep the budget for those expenses alive. When requesting funds for attending conferences, be sure to let management know how attending in previous years has benefited the organization. What programs that you’ve attended have been implemented in your library and contributed to its success? What services have you been able to provide as a result of attending? Have you written articles for the organization that in turn promoted the firm, as well? Boasting about the return on the investment of continuing education can only help keep you in a better position for being able to participate in those activities.
My purpose is to inspire you to reevaluate the way you promote yourself. Competition is steep. Not only if you are in the market for a new position, but even more so if you are thinking about changing careers. How will you transfer your talents and accomplishments from one career to another in a believable, sincere and convincing manner? You never know who you are talking to. By not being prepared, you can miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime. I’ve referred to the Brag! book throughout this article, and I definitely recommend it. The book gives you details on how to create this new way of bragging. Peggy Klaus even puts this topic in context in a short video entitled, “How to (Hopefully) Not Get Laid Off,” at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjgrKTddiv0 Think about it … if you don’t take some steps toward better bragging, the person sitting next to you will. If they can articulate how indispensable they are and you don’t, who’s going to stay (get the job or the promotion), and who won’t?
Other resources for learning self-promotion techniques:
Self-Promotion for the Creative Person: Get the Word Out About Who You Are and What You Do, Lee Silber, 2001.
Selling Yourself without Selling Out: A Leader’s Guide to Ethical Self Promotion, Center for Creative Leadership, 2006.
The Hard Truth About Soft Skills : Workplace Lessons Smart People Wish They'd Learned Sooner, Peggy Klaus, 2007.
*Washington Business Journal, “White & Case, other law firms make cuts,” March 10, 2009
