And - big shock here - the babies who watched this stuff didn't turn out to be any smarter than if they'd, say, just crawled around on the floor chasing dust bunnies.

So in 2006, reports the Times, Susan Linn, director of Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, complained to the Federal Trade Commission.

"Disney was never held accountable, and parents were never given any compensation. So we shared our information and research with a team of public-health lawyers," Linn told the Times.

There you have it, the two words most likely to appear in the same breath: "compensation" and "lawyers."

Disney then dropped the word "educational" from its sales pitch, not that it mattered one whit to the lawyers.

So now the company has caved, offering to refund the full purchase price of all videos bought since 2004 - with or without a receipt. Or proof of intellect.

OK, that makes those first "babies" now 5 years old and not likely to still be watching "Baby Neptune," which "exposes little ones to whales, dolphins, fish, ducks and more."

With that in mind, what mom or dad wouldn't want to get paid for clearing a bunch of old videos out of the closet?

And if, by some chance, your kid did sprout Brillo-pad hair in the last few years and started reciting E=mc2 at the dinner table, who's to say it isn't genetics rather than some video?

What's missing here, of course, are any complaints from the parents who bought those videos.

Maybe, just maybe, they had enough sense to realize "Baby Einstein" was a cute name and the video would at best keep baby occupied for a few minutes a day.

Sure, I agree that plopping a kid in front of a TV set all day is probably not a good idea, but in my experience, most babies and toddlers won't tolerate it for long.

My daughter may have been the only kid on the block NOT to take to "Sesame Street."

Why learn about the letter "K" from some puppet on TV when you can make one from mud out in the backyard?

My son, on the other hand, loved "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" - so much so that he would often carry on one-sided conversations with that gentlest of souls.

If somebody's working on an expose about how Fred Rogers really hated cardigans and kids, please, I don't want to hear about it.

I'm also hoping not to hear in the next few years how this "victory" against Disney has become some sort of slippery slope in the name of consumer protectionism.

Do we really believe that Diet Coke will instantly make us slim? Or that Oil of Olay will somehow restore that youthful look?

And you bet frozen pizza really tastes as good as one made from scratch at the pizzeria around the corner.

So sure, send those videos back while griping about how your kid was gypped out of being a genius.

Just don't be surprised next time when the lawyers go after Jiminy Cricket - and all those "When you wish upon a star" promises.

Bonnie Henry's column appears Sundays and Mondays. Reach her at 434-4074 or at bhenry@azstarnet.com or write to 3295 W. Ina Road, Suite 125, Tucson AZ 85741. Blog: go.azstarnet.com/bonniehenry